One of the things that doesn’t particularly bother me about reality is the fact that things wear out. Stuff, it get’s old and wears out. I know how we all like to talk about the good ol’ days when everything was made out of cast iron and lasted forever. But you may have had a rotary telephone that weighed 20lbs, and I have a cell phone that could probably arm a nuclear device if someone put some thought into it that fits in my pocket. No, it’s not going to last 50 years and become an antique, but I don’t need it to. Hell, I’m beginning to wear out in the edges, and I’m not all that old. It’s all about maintenance.
As such, it bothers me that products are now priced at a premium to be “pre-aged.” Some things make sense, if you want antique looking furniture and don’t want to pay the premium for actual antiques, you try to make them look older. But for a piece of furniture to age, it takes decades if not centuries. So I’ll give people some license there, but not a whole lot. If you really want to get old furniture you can wait for your relatives to die like everybody else.
However, I really just can’t abide buying aged clothes. You can get t-shirts that look well worn, or jeans with the faded color and tears built in. It’s only a small extra fee for such services. Look, if you want your shirt to look used, wear it and throw it in the wash from time to time. If that cotton is too thick and supple for you, throw it in the wash with your jeans until it becomes rag-like. But for crying out loud, just wear the comfort into it. How lazy can you possibly be? Let’s take instant gratification in stride.
And pre-ripped jeans? Oddly, this seems to be more of a fashion for women than men anymore (gotta find a way to show off that upper thigh.) Where is the utility in spending more for damaged goods? If you aren’t going to earn your ripped jeans the old fashioned way (by damaging your knees,) then get a pair of scissors or a razor blade. Look at that, I just came up with a 15 second solution to your $15 problem. That’s $3,600 an hour; it’s amazing!
Look, it takes me between 5-10 years to break in a wallet, and that’s at minimum. But it only fits me, and I’ve earned it. I have a leather hat with a brim that has slight scuffs on it, because I’ve worn it over the years. I’ve had the same pair of work boots for 15 years, and they aren’t completely ready yet.
If you aren’t willing to wait for your clothes to look comfortable (and that’s the key isn’t it? Whether they “look” comfy or not,) don’t spend your money getting designer aged jeans. Go to the thrift store and find someone else’s dirty laundry. It’s all you deserve you lazy bahstahd.
