Part 6, That's right, doubling them up today

Alright, so this one is a little bit graphic in content, and to an extent that you may want to consider skipping over it. So if you are a good person who wants to avoid bad images in your life, please just let it go. I'm not apologizing, but I am giving fair warning. If you want an update on what happens without having to read the badness, just let me know and I'll keep you up on the important stuff.

The next day after work I went over to Mike’s house. He was pretty riled up about this whole Sheryl Bowman thing, and while I couldn’t blame him, it’s always dangerous to get too emotional. Mike really isn’t all that good with emotions anymore. It’s too bad; he used to be the calm one between us.

When I got there I let myself in per normal and found Mike in the garage, also per normal.

“Alright, I’m here. What’s the big deal?” I asked.

“What’s the big deal? Did you read any of this shit?”

“Wrong phrasing. What do you need?”

“I think we need to talk about this one, it’s not like the others.”

“That’s for sure.” I said.

“Look Will, I’m going to need you to back out of this one. I’m going to go solo from here on out.” Mike said.

“Solo?” The idea that Mike was freezing me out hit me pretty hard and got my head spinning. He’d never wanted to go alone on one of these things, and it just felt bad to me. I sat down on the couch and looked around a bit. I never really inserted myself into the, ahem, conclusion of our fishing expeditions. But I was always involved in the process, and got the feeling Mike wanted me to get in deeper, not less. Him changing his method did not feel like a good thing.

Then I saw one of the crime scene pictures pinned to the wall. “What the hell is that?” I asked.

“Motivation.” He responded calmly.

“Picture like that will make you hate her.”
“I don’t want to like her, Will.”

“Yeah, and hatred makes you sloppy you stupid prick. Take it down.” I tried to sound calm, but could hear that I wasn’t.

“What do you care? You’ve seen all the pictures already; nobody else comes back here. It’s safe.”

“I don’t care about it being safe. What I care about is you keeping your shit together, Mike. I can’t have you get all self-righteous and start making mistakes. That’s when bad stuff happens.”

“That’s why I need you to back off. I’m not going to just kill her, I’m going to hurt her.” He said.

“What do you mean ‘hurt her’?”

“She’s going to feel what they felt.”

“That’s not what we do.”

“It’s what I’m going to do.”

“Like hell you are! What do you think we’re doing here? You can’t go torturing the woman.”

“Why not? She gave out her fair share of torture. It feels like justice to me.”

“That’s not who we are, it’s not what we do.”

“It’s what I’m going to do. C’mon Will, your not part of the final stages of these things, you’re not the one killing anybody anyway.”

“I am this time. Sheryl is mine.” I said.

“The fuck you talking about? You’re not killing anybody.”

“Why not? You think you’re the only one who can pull a trigger?”

“You can’t do it Will, you don’t want to.”

“But I should let you torture her to death?”

“Look, you can’t understand this. I mean, you just can’t really understand it.”

“Here’s what I understand,” I said. “I understand that this woman needs to die for what she’s done. I understand that you are taking this one too personal, and that you aren’t going to be able to control yourself. I understand that it’s my turn to share the load. Now you understand that there’s nothing you can do about it.”

“Is that some kind of threat? I’m not letting you kill anybody.”

“Like hell you are!”

“You can’t, you have too much to lose.”

“Oh bullshit, what makes me so different from you?”

“Ella.” Mike said. “You have Ella and a life to live, maybe even a family to start. You can’t take on this kind of guilt, it’ll ruin your life.”

“But I can let you…” I said.

“Don’t you fucking get it?” Mike said. “It’s all gone, everything is gone. I have nothing to lose anymore, my entire life is gone. I’m already dead. I can do this because I don’t matter anymore. What do you think, this is some kind of romantic notion of justice? I’m a murderer, Will. I kill people. I’m the bad guy in this story.”

“We’re not the bad guys here.”

“Oh no?” Mike said. “I kill people in cold blood, how is that the good guy?”

“Sheryl Bowman kidnapped two 8 year old boys and made them sodomize each other with a plunger. She hog tied them and threw them down her basement stairs when she was done playing with them. She consistently raped and beat them for three months, and then she strung them upside down, cut their wrists, and bathed in their blood. Killing her may not be righteous, but it sure as hell ain’t wrong either.” I said. “I don’t need to be the good guy here, but killing her doesn’t make us the bad guy either. She’s out free from all that, I can’t let it go.”

“You just get the information Will, I’m the killer.”

“You’ve killed three people.” I said dismissively.

“The FBI requires three kills to classify someone as a serial killer.”

“You aren’t a serial killer, Mike.”

“Really?” Mike said. “I track people down and kill them. Is there something I’m missing here?”

“We’re not doing this for some kind of lust or murderous rage. We’re fixing some wrongs. Doing what needs to be done.”

“I have a murderous rage, you know that. Normal people don’t do this.”

He was right, he’d been tracking and killing people since his family died. I’d never really thought it as a serial killing; I guess I figured that I didn’t really want to know. I was only helping him because he was killing the right people, though I guess that shouldn’t matter. But it did. Mike was becoming a monster of sorts, and I guess I was helping.

“But you can’t torture her.”

“She deserves it.”

“Doesn’t matter, it’s crossing a line.”

“What line?” he asked.

“Torture is a sickness, and if you go that far you’ve gone too far. I mean, if she hid some kid and we needed to find out where, that’s one thing. If that was the case I’d help you do it. But we’re not doing it for kicks Mike, that’s just fucking wrong.”

“She deserves to suffer.” He said.

“She does, but that’s not our job.”

“Our job.” He said thoughtfully. “Some fucking profession.”

“Yeah. But I’m still going to be the one to kill her Mike, and I’m not letting you stop me. It’s my turn to start helping, you’ve got enough of a burden as is. It’s time I helped carry the load.”

“It’s mine to carry.”

“Not anymore. You can only handle so much at a time Mike.” I said. I don’t know if I really wanted to help him or not, or I just wanted to be the one to kill the most disgusting human being I’d ever encountered. She was like a nightmare, and I felt that killing her wasn’t killing a person, it was something else. Maybe I did have some sort of romantic idea about us, like we’re vigilante justice seekers. Batman and shit.

“Go home and look at your wife, then you think about what you’re saying. It’s not worth it.”

“She’d understand.” I said.

“You think so?”

No, I don’t think she would.

Part 5

So I've decided that this whole blog thing is my rough-ish draft area, and I'm subjecting both my readers to the crap version of my crap stories. As such, I'm posting this part even though I'll probably cut it if I ever finish the story. It serves its purpose, as far as furthering the characters in the direction I want them to go. I dunno, it works for what I want but it isn't what I want. But since I wrote it down I might as well post it. What's the worst that can happen? Judge me if you will.

After the movie Ella and I decided to eat out for dinner. We don’t really do these date night things all that much anymore, it just ends up being too expensive. But we decided to treat ourselves to a nice little Italian joint that we used to go to all the time when we were dating. My mood had settled a bit through the movie and life began to feel a little more even keeled. I was glad for the couple hours of mindlessness during the movie to relax. Sometimes our brains just need a break from reality.

We ended up chatting casually about the movie, which was cute in a pointless kind of way. She found the premise to be unrealistic while I found it patently absurd. That’s the point of these kinds of movies anyway, to tell the kinds of stories we aren’t likely to ever experience.

For the most part we just ate quietly. I guess after five years of marriage you just don’t have as many things to say anymore. But it was a good comfortable kind of quiet, with the muffled random noises of the restaurant in the background. With all the shit I saw in Sheryl’s happy file that morning, it was nice just to have something feel good and right. Some things in life do make sense and can be good. I don’t know why it struck me, but I felt a sense of humanity for a moment.

“Whatcha thinking about?” Ella asked.

“I dunno, stuff.”

“What kind of stuff?” she pressed.

“I was just thinking how very lucky I am.” I said.

“Good day at work?”

“Good dinner company.”

She smiled. “Well, I have to admit, you are very lucky in that respect.”

“Don’t I know it? How did I ever get so lucky?” I asked.

“Hmm… that’s a great question.”

“I thought so. What’s a girl like you doing with a guy like me? It just seems like you could do so much better.”

“One would think so, but alas, all the good men were already taken,” she said with a shrug.

“That’s kinda what I figured, it’s tragic, really.” I said.

“You know,” she said in a half whisper. “You really aren’t all that bad a catch either mister. Many a girl has done much worse.”

“Really?”

“Oh sure.”

“I’ll bet many a girl has done better.” I said.

“I can’t imagine how.” She said matter-of-factly.

“Oh, I’ll bet you could.”

She winked at me. “Maybe if I gave it some thought, you never know. But really, what’s going on in that head of yours? You seem, I dunno, distant or something.”

“Distant?” I asked.

“Kinda. You look like you’re faraway or something. It’s in the eyes.”

“Hmm... interesting. I don’t know about that eye thing and all, but I guess that I was just thinking that right now at this moment I feel like I’m in the right place with the right person doing the right thing. It’s like the world makes sense, even if it’s just for a little while. Y’know? Everything is exactly the way it’s supposed to be.”

“Things aren’t normally the way they’re supposed to be?” she asked.

“Nah,” I said. “Sometimes I think the whole world seems just a little bit crazy. I like, think back, y’know? All the things that I thought I wanted as a kid, who I thought I’d be and all. The daydreams and memories, the way I thought the world worked. But then I watch the news and it’s so goddamn depressing… yeah, I don’t think the world is always the way it’s supposed to be. It’s just more complicated than I thought it would be, I guess. I always thought that things got easier as you grew up, like being an adult meant you had everything under control. But life doesn’t work that way. Except for moments like right now, sitting here, with you. Right now I’m not worrying about anything because it all feels just right. I dunno, I guess that sounds stupid and I’m just not saying it right.”

“Yeah you are. You said everything just perfect.” Ella started to get up. “I’m going to freshen up, get the check.”

“What about dessert?” They serve the best tiramisu in town here.

“At home,” and she winked.

Screw the tiramisu.

When we got home I saw the answering machine light blinking.

“Wanna bet who that is?” Ella asked.

“C’mon, it could be anybody.”

“Everybody else would call your cell like a normal person.”

“Could be a telemarketer.” I suggested.

“Then take the bet.”

Damn. “So he calls the land line, so what?”

“Just check the message, I’m gonna change. Get some dessert out of the fridge. I’m in the mood for something sweet,” she said as she walked towards the bedroom.

I walked over to the counter to hit the play button and find out what Mike wanted. Of course it was Mike.

“I told you!” Ella hollered from the other room when she heard the recording.

“I’ll call him tomorrow!” I yelled back.

“Call him now, he’ll just call again later if you don’t. I’m not done changing anyway… but don’t go over there!”

“Yeah, yeah” I muttered to myself as I dialed Mike’s number. “Yo.”

“Hey Will, can you talk?” Mike asked.

“Kinda, what’s up?”

“Can you come by? I think we need to talk about this Sheryl thing. This isn’t like before.”

“Now?”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t think that’s going to work for me.” I said.

“Why not?”

“I’ve got my reasons. Is something happening now?”

“No, she’s at home. But I’m thinking something should.”

“No, it shouldn’t. Just read through the packet and then we’ll talk.” I said, trying to calm him down.

“I already went through it.” He said.

“All of it?”
“Its pretty compelling reading, Will.”

“I know, but you can’t do anything now. We have to let it play out, just like always. Let things settle.”

“You weren’t kidding when you called her, you know…”

“I wasn’t…” just then I saw Ella’s leg stick through the hall doorway, wearing some fancy black stocking I’d never seen before. “Look Mike, we can’t do anything now. Rushing is just bad news.” Her leg slid slowly back through the doorway. “I got to go Mike, I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“Fine.”

“Good. Listen, Mike? Don’t do anything, okay?”

“I guess not.” Click

After I hung up Ella stuck her head, just her head, out the doorway and asked, “What’s up?”

“Nothing, just Mike stuff.”

“Good,” she smiled. “Get the dessert,” and she disappeared again. I was glad she didn’t really want to know what Mike was up to.

I opened the refrigerator door and found chocolate covered strawberries and a bottle of champagne. Somebody was prepared. I started to wonder what the special occasion was until I realized that I didn’t care.

Part 4, is this some kind of record?

About a week later I stopped by Mike’s to drop off the information he wanted. I just opened the door, there’s no use knocking. He’s almost never in the house, and he refuses to lock the door.

“Yo, Mike! Hey it’s Will.”

No answer, figures. He’s almost always in the garage working on something. I wondered if he slept on the couch in there, the mental picture brought a smile to my face. Mike, what a schmuck. I walked through the house to the garage, picking up a couple of beers from the fridge on the way.

“Mike, how’s it going?” I said on my way through the door.

“You got it?” Down to business, I guess.

“I’m doing well thanks, you know, works busy… Yeah asshole, I got it.” I dropped a packet of background information on our new friend Sheryl on the counter.

“I don’t know how you get this stuff,” he said while opening the packet.

“And you never will.”

“Friends in high places, I guess.”

“Nah.” I had to think how to phrase it. “Just lots of friends in lots of places.”

“Whatever you do Will, keep doing it. You staying?” he asked, nodding at the beer.

“Can’t,” I said, handing him a bottle. “I’m going to meet Ella for a movie in a bit. Just got off early so you could get an early look at that.”

Mike was already looking through the packet, which was over a hundred pages long. I saw his eyes bulge a bit when he leafed to the middle section, which had all the pictures.

“You sure know how to pick them my friend.” I said.

“You went through this?” he asked.

“A bit, browsed mostly. It’s not fun reading. You’re still tailing her, right?
“Well yeah, but I was about to give up. She’s been clean and boring, thought I might have pass.”

“Don’t, it’s just a matter of time with this one.”

“Told you she was bad.”

“Not that bad.”

“I didn’t know,” he said. I raised my eyebrow and he raised his hands in an “I swear” motion.

“Yep,” I said. “She’s definitely a keeper. I didn’t know anything that bad existed until I started looking through that file. That’s a goddamn nightmare.”

“No kidding, hope the reading isn’t as bad as the photos. You better see a horror flick tonight.”

“That’s plenty of horror for me, thank you very much. It’s Ella’s turn to pick, so we’ll probably see some rom-com.”

“Aw hell,” he said with disgust.

I just shrugged my shoulders. “Makes her happy and my brain gets a nap. What are you going to do about Sheryl?”

“Dunno, but I’ll be watching her extra careful now. These pictures make it harder to wait. Is this real? It’s not some kind of sick joke, is it?”

“Can’t make up that shit.”

“How in the hell did she get out?”

“Technicality.” I said in very near a snarl.

“You’re kidding.”

“Nope, the release order is in there, something went wrong timing wise with the DA, and some evidence was misplaced for awhile so the defense didn’t get it right away. I dunno, bunch of bullshit gibberish to me. I’m guessing you got her off Megan’s Law?”

“Yeah, but I had no idea.” Mike said. Megan’s Law requires sex offenders to register whenever they move, and you can track them online. It’s a good way to find all the predators near you. I assume Mike is checking it regularly.

“She’s got a minor conviction from before that they got to stick, so she can’t teach children anymore. But that’s the only thing that really stayed on her record, she’s just shy of free and clear. They’ll try to drum up some new charges but…” I shrugged. Truth be told they’ll probably have to wait until after she does something again.

“What was the conviction for?”

“I dunno, statutory or something. It’s in there.”

“Sounds like the least of all her sins.”

“She’s a fucking vampire Mike. You watch her and let me know when the time comes, I’ll be there.” He nodded, there wasn’t much else to say. “Anyways, I better head over to the theater, I have to meet Ella in 20 minutes. I’ll tell her you said hello.”

“Um, yeah. Sure.” Mike was completely engrossed in his reading.

I finished my beer and walked out, dropping the bottle in the recycling bin on the sidewalk. Must be trash day tomorrow. I tried to think about nothing at all for awhile, clearing my mind to be in a better mood for Ella. No point in spoiling her night too, I wouldn’t be able to explain.

Part 3, let's get it on the table

I was sitting at work playing Tetris when Mike called. I’m an accountant, and despite the fact that I play a ton of tetras on the clock I’m a damn good one. I run an office branch that’s kind of like a franchise. An old family friend owns the company, but I’ve self-financed and run this office for the last few years. It’s the closest I could get to owning my own business without actually owning anything.

“Will here, how can I help you?” I answered.

“Will, it’s Mike. I’ve got another one.”

Oh great. “You know that I’m at work, right?”

“That’s the number I called” he said. “You beat your high score in Tetris yet?”

Asshole. “I’m working here Mike, it’s not all fun and games.”

“Sure, look I just wanted to tell you that I got another fish.”

“That’s an interesting way to put it. What do you need?” I asked.

“Background.”

“Where’d you find this one?”

“Internet,” he responded.

“Are you sure it’s legit?”

“That’s what I’m trying to find out.”

“No half-assing this one Mike, you need to be for sure for sure. You tailing him yet?”

“Her, and yeah, just starting.”

“Her? Shit. What do you need to know?”

“Same old. Whatever we can use against her, she’s a smart one. Was a teacher.”

“Damn it, seriously? The hell the world is coming to. How bad was it?”

“Bad.” I guess I’ll have to take his word on it for now.

“Alright, you got the basic info?”

“Yeah, just need the details, find out what I’m dealing with. Do what you do, Will.”

“Only reason you keep me around.” I said.

“Not the only reason. Name’s Bowman, Sheryl Bowman, with an ‘s’.”

“Got it, it’ll take a couple of days to get up and down the line. You got a timeline on this shindig?”

“Too soon to tell. Ella’s not on nights for another two weeks; should give me some time to verify. Make sure she hasn’t gone clean or nothing.”

Most people would be worried if their best friend had their wife’s schedule memorized. I guess I worried about it too, but I’m not worried about an affair. I’m worried that this is all becoming too routine.

“Alright Mike, I’ll let you know when I know.” I said.

“Good.” Click

“Your welcome asshole.”

I thought about finishing my game of Tetris, though I doubted I could beat my high score. I really am playing this too much. Best get started.

Part 2, I'd like to think I'll finish one of these stories lines some day...

I drove home for dinner, trying to think of ways to get Mike to act somewhat normal again. I figure at some point he has to find some kind of normalcy, though I’m not sure how that can happen. Oh well, it’s not worth worrying about tonight. I’ll just go home and put my feet up.

When I got home I opened the door looking forward to a cold beer, but Ella was waiting for an update. There goes the relaxation.

“Hey hon,” I said.

“How’d it go?” she asked.

“Oh I’m great, kind of a busy day at work though. How’d your day go?”

“Oh come on Will, you promised you’d talk to him.”

“I did, he said he’d think about it.” I tried to pretend I believed it, hoping it would sound truer.

“You’re a terrible liar.”

“No I’m not, I’m actually a pretty good liar.”

“Are you saying that you lie to me?” she accused.

“No, that’s not what I meant.”

“Then what did you mean?” Then I got it, she was just fucking with me. It’s always hard to take a good joke when you actually are lying to your wife all the time. Well, not all the time.

“He’s just not interested in going out with us babe, he likes to keep to himself.”

“Will,” Ella whined. “You promised you’d get him to go out more, it isn’t healthy to be so antisocial. With you spending so much time with him, how’s he going to learn to be on his own again if you visit all the time?”

“Oh come on, we’ve been friends for 20 years, we don’t hang out any more than we used to.”

“Bullshit, you’re there all the time. It’s like I’m losing my husband. You stay over there late at night, it just isn’t right Will.”

“I don’t stay that late, when have I come home later than you?”

“You stay out late when I’m working the night shift.” Ella worked on a rotating schedule as a nurse in the hospital, so she had to do 6-week long shifts doing graveyard.

“Well, that’s when you’re not home. I never miss a chance to spend time with you babe.” Maybe some buttering up is in order.

She came over and gave me a hug, hanging her arms around my neck. “I know you don’t,” she buried her head into my shoulder. “I just don’t think you should spend so much time with him, he’s getting all weird. I was talking to Debbie; remember I told you about her? She’s my friend in the psyche ward, and she said that Mike probably needs to find a healthy way to grieve. It’s been 3 years, he needs to start moving on. If he doesn’t let it out, it’s just going to eat him up inside and suck the life out of him.”

“I know babe, but I don’t think he wants to move on. He had to go through a lot and he’s not going to be the same.” I could feel her sigh, “but I’ll keep trying.”

“We need to find him a hobby. And not hanging out with you!”

“C’mon El, we’re just good friends. He keeps himself busy.”

“Doing what?” she asked. “What is it you do over there?”

“Nothing much,” I said. “We just hang out, listen to music, maybe tool around in the garage a bit.”

“Ooh, sounds so manly.”

“Oh yes, we’re very manly.”

“I know you are.” She let go of my neck and slapped my behind. “That’s why I married you. Dinner’s on the table, I picked up some Chinese.”

“Did you get the pork fried rice?”

“Don’t I always?”

“You know I love you babe.”

“You better.” And she winked at me as she walked away. I could tell she was smiling.

Creepy

“C’mon Mike, it’ll be fun.”

“Then go have fun.”

“But you should come with. You have to get out a bit, y’know? Try acting normal for a change.”

“I am acting normal.”

“No, normal people normal, not normal for you. You’re too cooped up, you have to get out there and mix it up a bit.”

“Will? Bugger off.”

This conversation is going exactly as I expected it to, and it’s not likely that I’ll get Mike to do anything he doesn’t want to. He’s a special kind of stubborn, but I still have to try.

“C’mon Mike, do it for me. Ella is getting worried about you, and that’s not fun for me when I get home” I said.

“And?” he asked. It was a reasonable question.

“Well, we’re co-workers in a way. The happier my home life is the easier it’ll be for us to keep working together. She’s been pretty understanding.”

“For you maybe,” Mike said. It’s true, Ella never really liked him, and it had only gotten worse over the years. They never were much more than polite to each other, and since Mikes’ problems Ella just didn’t know how to relate to him anymore. But she’s my wife and he’s my best friend, so we had to work it out. Hell, at this point I’m probably his only friend and I can’t very well abandon him.

“She just doesn’t get you, which is pretty fair. I mean, you’ve been pretty standoffish for…say… forever or so. “ I felt like I was beginning to plead, and I hope Mike didn’t pick up on it or he’d know that he’d won.

“So?” he asked calmly. “It’s not like she and I have ever been all that close, and it never made a difference before.”

“Yeah, but she’s beginning to get scared of you. I can’t have her start hating you.”

“Well she ought to be scared of me Will. With what she does for a living and with what we’re doing, I’m exactly what she would be scared of.”

“She doesn’t know what you do.” I said.

Mike look astonished, “what do you mean she doesn’t know?”

“It’s not exactly one of those things I can just tell her, now is it? You thought she knew?”

“I just kind of figured you’d have told her.” Mike gave me a why are we having this conversation shrug. “I mean, anything you know she seems to know.”

“Dude, she’s just my wife, she doesn’t have to know all my business.”

“Just?” Okay, wrong way to phrase it. “I just figured she’s know about it, not everything maybe, but the gist of it.” Mike said.

“I’m sure she has ideas, but it’s not something that is up for discussion. Some things are better left unsaid.” I thought it was reasonable, I wasn’t lying to her, just actively not telling her something. That has to be a lesser sin.

“I told Margot everything.” Mike said with a tad bit too much self-righteousness.

“Yeah, but you never had to tell her anything like this. You think that you’d be sharing this kind of stuff over the dinner table?”

Mike winced, “I don’t know if I could even do it if she was still here. I only started because of how she died, and now I just have no reason to stop.”

“Sorry Mike, I didn’t mean to hit a raw spot” and I really didn’t.

Mike tilted his head in a half shrug. “It’s always raw, nothing you can do about it.” He seemed resigned to stay miserable, which was most of the problem.

Margot had died three years before, but the circumstances were beyond brutal and grim. Mike broke down pretty bad and he’s never been the same, but we found a way for him to work through it. Even now every time her name comes up Mike is too torn up to do much, so this conversation is pretty close to over.

“I do miss her, she was always a good friend to me.” I said.

Mike crossed his arms, grunted, and looked at the ground. Yep, conversation over. He’d probably drink himself to sleep tonight, though that seems normal for him nowadays.

“Alright Mike, I ain’t gonna force you into anything. I’m heading out, I’ll call you tomorrow.”

He grunted again, not even venturing his face up for eye contact. This is what I get for trying to get him a social life.

Dougal

There’s no choice to be made, I’ll do what must be done.

 

And where’s my choice Seamus?  Where’s the choice of our children?  You tell me that.

 

What would you have me do, woman?  There’s nothing to be done, and that’s the end of it.

 

And you’d go for him?  Leave us alone in this cold dark world, with nothing to protect us.

Aye, it’s not as I’d have it, but it is.  Life is cold, and there’s nothing to be done to prevent it.  We do the best we can.

 

Indeed we do husband, the best we can.  And yet you’d go and risk your life and mine for Dougal, the wretch.

 

Hold your tongue, he’s been a friend to me and mine from the beginning.

 

He’s your master, and he calls you like a mule.  And yet you run.

 

He’s my friend and yours, and has been since before you were anything to me.  You’d have me leave him now, wouldn’t you?  In the hour when he needs me most?

 

I’d have you stay with your family, and take no quarrel on behalf of the likes of him.  I’d have the love of the father for my son and daughters.  You’d have less than that?

 

And betray Dougal?  Moira, it’s a cold heart you bear for your friends.

 

I bear what I will for the love of my family, and I’d have you do much the same.  You go to fight a war you can’t win for the honor of a man who has none. This is not your fight, and to take part in the quarrel is nothing more than pride.  And damn to your foolish pride Seamus, damn to your pride.

 

You mistake honor for pride woman, and I do what I must.

 

You must stay with your family, and protect them from the harm sure to come.  Dougal’s sin will visit us all I’ll warrant, and yet you scurry to the first blow.

 

You’d have me lose my goodness.

 

I’d have you give me what you owe husband.  I’d have you give me what you promised.

 

I owe you nothing wife!  I’ve given you all I can just as I’ve always done.  There’s nothing more you can ask.

 

You promised me forever Seamus, don’t ye remember it?  You promised me that I reckon, and asking ya ta stay is less than over reaching my rights.

 

You push too far.

 

And you not far enough.  What do you owe Dougal?  What does he have that is so much more important than your children?

 

All I have is the honor within me, and the strength of my father’s name.  Dougal’s been a part of this from time before time as was his father to mine.  I’d not shame my father’s soul for life’s simple pleasures.  What happens will be what may, and I’ll suffer it if I must.  But Dougal’s fight is my own, as ye well know.  Brotherhood bonds in the worst of times more than the best.

 

Your father’s soul does not excuse you the rights of your children!

 

You’d take the best of me woman!  And what kind of father could I ever be if I ran from this?  If I betrayed the love of family?

 

We’re your family husband; he’s nothing more than some other man.

 

He’s everything more than just some man!  Whenever I call in the darkest time, he’s a brother who’d be there for me.  Just as I’ll be there for him.

 

It’s a bully of a fight Seamus, and nothing more.

 

Aye, all fights are for the bullies Moira, but the fight must be made all the same.

 

You can’t win this, and ye know it.

 

Winning is only a smaller part of what will be done here.  I’d wish the world against this, but there’s nothing to be done.  I’ll have the best of me survive this despite the odds.  That’s the gift I can give to my children, and it’s the best I can ever have.  I’ll keep my soul.

 

Noble blood stains all the same as the rest of us.

 

Aye Moira, blood stains us all.  But I’ll bleed for the right reasons all the same.  And I do that for the love of my family.