But is it really?

“I guess it’s better than being alone.”

That’s a lyric from a song I’ve liked recently, though admittedly it isn’t all that original.  It’s one of those things that you see and hear alot, actually.  And the connotation is pretty consistent as well; not being alone is better than being alone.  I completely disagree.

Part of this may be the anti-social in me, but give me a little latitude here.  Being alone is frackin awesome!  You get to do what you want (nothing,) it’s quiet (with nothingness,) and it’s completely freeing (with nothing to get in the way.)  I enjoy my alone time; it’s where I’m most comfortable.  So for me, the phrase “it’s better than being alone” is astounding because whatever “it” is must be amazing!  It’s better than being alone?  What is this awesomeness?  Because alone rocks.  

Hold on a second, I know what you’re thinking.  How am I turning this negative statement into a positive statement?  That’s not my style, I’m the guy who can make you feel guilty for having happy (shallow) thoughts.  Aha!  That may be what ya’ll think, but it’s not always true.  If something is better than being alone it must truly be special.  I can’t imagine what it could possibly be, however, so I get to keep my downer cred.

Here’s the thing, the very concept that being alone is negative bothers me.  I get that humans are somewhat social creatures.  I also get that being alone can be a sign of being an outcast.  Trust me, I’ve had more than my fair share of unavoidable alone time.  You know, sitting around in a social setting with no one to talk to.  That can blow.  Side note:  Loneliness is far more acute with a group of people.  AKA: Junior High

But is that most of your alone time?  Do you avoid spending time by yourself because you’re scared of feeling that way?  I’d certainly hope not.  If you aren’t comfortable when no one else is around, how can you possibly be comfortable when someone is?  Own your alone time, it’s the only time you don’t have to share.  You can never be yourself as much as when you’re by yourself.  If you don’t know who you are alone, then you definitely don’t know who you are with someone else.  Now that can’t be healthy.

Seriously, name a single relationship defined by “it’s better than being alone” that ever actually turned out to be better than being alone?  See?  Alone is awesome.