Letter

Dear *****,

Hey, I know it’s been a long time, but I thought it would be nice to write a letter like in the old days. I know you always liked it better when I wrote letters and you got to get something in the mail. I guess it feels like more of an effort than an email or phone call. I suppose I agree; though my laziness always worked against me on it.

I’m not really sure what to say here. Hell, I doubt that I’ll ever send this letter anyway, or at least not until it’s too late.

I heard you got married! How about that? Seems so crazy looking back that you could possibly be married now. It just doesn’t seem like that long ago when we were together and the idea of settling down was so far away. Time’s catching up with me I guess, but I’m in a strict state of denial.

I hope that you found someone who appreciates you. You are a special person and I hope that you have finally learned to accept it. You spent too many years selling yourself short, and I hope your new life is a step beyond that. And stop shaking your head. I know you are! I remember you well, and how modest you’ve always been.

Well, I know that we left each other on less than ideal terms. So what I really think this letter should be about is how sorry I am. I mean, I know that I wasn’t always the best to you, and especially at the end. I think I was so afraid of losing you that I got jealous. And yeah, I suppose that jealous would be an understatement. But for all those times I made you crazy, I want to apologize. I was young and stupid, and while that’s not an excuse, I just want you to know that I know better now.

Truth be told I don’t know if I could’ve been any better to you later on. But now it doesn’t matter. You’re married, and I hope it’s a good one. And I’m kinda sick, and it doesn’t look like I’ll be getting any better.

I just wanted you to know that I’ve always hoped for the best for you, no matter what. Even in those days I carried my love for you, even when you left me. Especially when you left me. I know I didn’t show it at the time.

So thank you for all of the days you spent with me, and the good times we had. I think we had some good times, despite the bad end. I try to think about them sometimes, I hope you don’t mind. And I wanted to thank you, as my goodbye.

All My Love,
*************


P.S.
I know that you are going to hate that I didn’t leave a forwarding address, but it’s best you don’t contact me. The rest of my story isn’t going to be a pretty one. Please understand.