So I was reading an article on the myths of being single, which was interesting because it actual defended single people. I know, who’d a thunk it? But it got me thinking about some of the misconceptions about being single. I just wanted to expound on a couple of ideas that people seem to misunderstand.
First off, being single and being alone are two completely different things. Raise your hand if you know someone who is married but is lonely all the time…
Everybody who raised their hand knows that being alone has very little to do with having people around. If you didn’t raise your hand and you’re not a hermit you’re a fucking liar.
But everybody knows that couples are more fulfilled than single people, right?
Au contraire, some people are more fulfilled than others. Happiness is mostly and individual emotion. I’m not saying that you don’t get enjoyment out of other people. Friendships can absolutely contribute to your appreciation of life. However, people who are happy tend to have friends that contribute to their happiness. Unhappy people tend to commiserate with other unhappy people. Being with another person doesn’t make you happy or keep you from being unhappy. It simply means that your happiness/unhappiness is happening with another person. Whoop de doo for you.
Anyone who spends any amount of time single (and some people are so afraid of being alone that they jump from relationship to relationship without ever really experiencing singlehood) knows how annoying it is when people try to tell you how happy they are not being single. And who are the most adamant about making sure you know how shitty being single is? Unhappy couples. Hands down, people in failing relationships are the most adamant about how happy their relationship makes them.
One thing about failing relationships; being together does not make you a good couple. I don’t care if you’ve been together for five minutes or fifty years, you could be a terrible couple. So don’t try to use your timeline to judge me kiddo.
I have a completely unfounded theory that people who are in bad relationships try to justify working so hard to make them work by demonizing people who aren’t in a relationship. It’s like people who try to save their failing marriage by having a kid. Brilliant idea. Really. Works every time.
Look, I’m not saying that being in relationships is a bad thing. It’s a fairly natural phenomenon that has some pretty obvious perks. It also has some serious drawbacks. There are things about relationships you miss when you aren’t in one. Likewise, there are also things about being single that you really miss when you’re in a relationship. To be perfectly honest, I don’t really lean one way or the other on which is better. But being single is definitely better than being in a bad relationship.
So from now on, don’t feel an overwhelming need to help single people from their unfortunate predicament. We don’t need to know about every available friend you know. Just the ones that are hot and easy…
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