It’s a topic that comes up a lot, though admittedly probably in women’s magazines. There’s pressure to look this way or that way, there’s physique and fashion. There are regional, ethnic, and cultural expectations. We talk about Roman conceptions of beauty, or compare Marilyn Monroe vs. Audrey Hepburn[1]. It’s also been in the news, since Howard Stern has commented that Gabourey Sidibe is fat. I should probably provide a link here, but you have google, figure it out. You may think it’s my job, being the blogger and all, but I’m only here for two things, to kick ass and chew bubble gum, and I’m all out of bubble gum[2].
Now, I’m not going to defend Stern because he is a prick of epic proportions, so I’m guessing he was unnecessarily asshole-ish. But then again, I can’t defend that kid either because she is unhealthily obese. You are either scared by her or for her, depending on your point of view.
But let’s generalize a bit here. Body image is important because of self-esteem blah, blah, blah, social pressure to fit in blah, blah, blah, popularity contests, bs, bs, bs, so on and so forth. There’s a myth that it only affects women because of the pressures to look like Hollywood actresses’ airbrushed images. Because men obviously expect everyone to look like Jennifer Aniston, et al. Here’s a tip gals, no we don’t. Do you expect us all to look like Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt? Of course not. But you do expect us to do the ridiculous romantic comedy charade, what’s up with that?
Here’s my question, if this pressure is so crushing that millions of little girls are yakking in the privy, why is obesity such a huge problem in the U.S.? Shouldn’t this pressure have some kind of measurable result? No, that’s right, because we eat when we’re sad about being fat. I forgot. If I had any feelings I’m sure that I’d react to social pressure, but I’m pretty sure I’d come up with something more enjoyable like self-flagellation or drinking. But I’m lactose intolerant, so that drum of Dryer’s is never appealing.
Here’s an idea, let’s shoot for a healthier lifestyle rather than trying to match a particular body style. And I’m not a health Nazi, I drink too much and smoke regularly. My salads tend to have bacon and blue cheese in them, because that makes them taste good. But I do occasionally cut back on the sweets and sodas and whatnot, particular when I can’t afford a new wardrobe.
Also, don’t get particularly attached to “experts,” particularly if they are on tv. I’m bordering obese on any BMI[3] scale. And while I’ll freely admit I’ve got some extra chunk (I did read the previous paragraph,) I don’t think I’m obese, morbid or otherwise. I don’t wheeze when I walk up a flight of stairs and am willing to walk all the way across a parking lot. I can do both a pull up and a push up, just not at the same time. Yay me.
I recognize that I’ve gotten off point, but since this is a blog that doesn’t remotely matter. If you’re bothered consider your subscription refunded. I’m tired of fat people complaining about skinny people; nobody actually expects you to look like a movie star all the time. Have you seen movie stars when they aren’t in a movie? They look like people. Better looking that you and me, but hell, they have to be famous for some reason.
So here’s what you need to do, live your life with the body you have (but take care of it.) Don’t go run a goddamn marathon, that kind of masochism is idiotic. Don’t throw up after every meal because, well, kids with flies in their eyes in Africa are hungry or something. That and the dental can get pretty expensive, that’s shit’s hard on your enamel. And if you are unhealthily overweight get off this “big is beautiful” schtick. If you are a bigger person you are big all around, it’s a body type. We call them proportions, and if you use portion control you can probably keep yours reasonable.
All I’m saying is be reasonable. If you aren’t athletic don’t be an athlete. If you don’t look like a bleached Ethiopian don’t take up acting. And if your knees are threatening to give out try a 20 minute fast from time to time. Let’s embrace the middle ground.
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