For crying out loud...

Let’s talk about why having a child to save a failing relationship is a bad idea:

· Yeah, kids are a miracle and spawn mysterious feelings of love and blah, blah, blah. They are also a giant pain in the ass.

· If your relationship is tense, the lack of sleep is probably not going to calm things down.

· Do you think your girl is crazy? Let’s see what she looks like on hormones.

· Think your man is afraid of commitment? See how he acts when you drop a $100,000 dollar responsibility in his lap.

· Distractions are never solutions. Though an infant is a hell of a distraction. Points for going all out.

· You’re still going to worry about your kid when he’s 30.

· Parents who fight have kids who fight. Then the kids have kids with people they fight with, spawning another generation of people who piss me off.

· Birth is gross. Watch some Discovery if you don’t believe me. Afterbirth is more gross, however.

· Caesarean is the new midwife. Scar much?

· If you don’t have the stones to deal with relationship problems, you aren’t ready to have a conversation with a 4 year old. They ask the hard questions.

· Pissed off parents are bad parents. And I already don’t like kids, so cut me some slack.