• We should call highway patrol cops meter maids and make their siren lights look like big bows. They’re already black and white, might as well go all the way French maid.
• If a black person calls me “cracker,” is “brownie” an appropriate retort?
• I had an epic battle on the freeway today with a Buick, we must have exchanged the lead ten times in 45 minutes. The only problem was that I was on cruise control, and he was using the gas pedal like an on/off switch.
• There is such a thing as a stupid question. If you don’t believe me try speaking in front of a group of people and see what happens.
• The answer is generally no, and if it’s not no, it probably should be.
• I want everyone to go to the DMV and then read about the stimulus package and see what you think.
• The term cocktail makes no sense, but the phrase cocktail waitress does…odd.
• I walked into a Walmart today and I felt dirty. I think it was the food stamp express lane that started my revulsion.*
• I read a study that found people who listen to Justin Timberlake and Beyonce are less intelligent than average. That’s about a 9 on the No Shit Sherlock Scale. I’ll bet people who listen to punk have anger issues. Somebody needs to fund that study, these are the things we need to know.
* Okay, there wasn’t a food stamp line, but you thought it was possible. Admit it.
No comments:
Post a Comment