Children

A questions has come up lately, Lord knows why, about how bad a parent I would be. I suppose I'm in that age group, and many people around me are contemplating that particular mistake. The reason doesn't really matter, but there appears to be a wide variety of opinions about me.

The first notion, which is my favorite, is that I should under no circumstances ever procreate and pollute the earth. I'm not sure if this is a gene issue, or the simple fact that I'll make a terrifically bad father. I'm really hoping for the latter, but perhaps it's a combination. Someone once told me that I should never have kids because I'd "kill them." Which seemed hyperbolic at the time, but was a valid opinion all the same. I'm not a particularly patient man, and I find all things "cute" annoying. I hate words like "potty," "binky," "barney," "dora," etc.. I talk to children in the same manner as I do adults (which may say more about adults than children.) And finally, kids are scared of me.

There is another contingent that wonder why I don't have children now, because I'd make a fantabulous parent. There really is very little logic to this point of view. I'm not scared of babies or lost on the geometry of a diaper. I'm not a fan of rug rats, but when push comes to shove I can certainly deal with them. But these people think I'd be wonderful, which is complete bull. Children in small doses are fine, you can have fun, but you don't want to wake up in the morning with them. I think most of the people who think I'd be a great parent believe that I'm who they want me to be, rather than who I am. Or make the mistake all women make when thinking about men, focus on potential.

The third group is probably the most accurate, because they don't think I'd make a great parent by any means, but with all the shite parents out there I'd be fine. This is a reasonable point of view, because at least I'd hold to some kind of discipline (read: yelling and beating without bruising.) I see kids carrying they parents by the collar, and it's pretty disgusting. I also never kicked my dog, so that's good training. So should I have kids? Probably not. But would it be the worst thing that can happen to mankind? Unlikely.

I like the first viewpoint, dislike the second, and agree with the third. Conclusion? Better not but whatever happens happens. I suppose my fear would be that of every parent, you'd try so hard not to make the mistakes your parents' did that you'd make plenty of your own.