Grizzly

Growing a beard is always an interesting experience, simply because people take notice. Some men who can’t grow a beard are jealous, and others are nostalgic for the days before their wives made them shave daily. Women almost universally dislike facial hair; generally for an idiotic reason.

First off, people really need to stop saying, “are you trying to grow a beard?” No, and I never have. It takes effort to refrain from growing a beard, none to let one happen. There’s no trying involved, it's just a consequence of puberty.

Secondly, and this one is personal, don’t act surprised as if you’ve never seen me with a full beard. If you’ve seen me in the last decade, there’s a 50/50 chance you’ve seen me with one. If you don’t see me regularly perhaps it’s 40/60, but still, pretty good odds. It’s winter! I let my beard grow in. It’s summer! I better cut it down. This ain’t new.

Next is the general opinion of women on facial hair. The complaint that we’ve all gotten is that it’s “scratchy.” Untrue, and I have some pretty convincing evidence. Take your hand, put it on top of your head and feel your hair. Is it scratchy? Of course not, unless you’ve got a buzz cut. Stubble is abrasive, anything longer than ¼ inch or so is just hair. And like all hair it can be thick or thin, but it’s not going to be all that scratchy. Seriously ladies, have some patience and you’ll be fine.

I’m not going to argue to sing the praises of growing a beard, though I know that many men do. I don’t do it for aesthetic reasons, and if I did I’d probably being doing it wrong. It’s pure laziness. If you have an opinion on the look feel free to share, just don’t ask if “I’m trying…”